dumdums

Broderick Turner
3 min readFeb 23, 2024

(A poem about names and a near future)

We lost to the dumdums.

That’s what we called our leaders at first.

dumdums, because that’s what they named themselves.

dumdums, because when we thought the world was ours, the name stuck.

Funny, because that’s what dumdums did.

They stuck names to things.

The original inventors of dumdums, whose names we all forgot, told us dumdums did not know

good or bad

happy or sad.

They just knew names.

And we could let those names stick

Because unlike us, dumdums would be fair.

They didn’t see anything but the name.

The fair name. The right name.

So, dumdums were good for us for a while, at least.

The dumdums named apples, “apples.”

The sky, “sky.”

Hats, “hats.”

Pie, “pie.”

Using the dumdums to name things saved us a few pennies and shaved a few seconds,

So, we ignored the dumdums when they named cats, “food.”

To be fair, at the time, we only barely tolerated cats,

and we thought, after a while, maybe the dumdums knew a little better than we did what cats should be named.

So, cats became “food.”

Breakfast, mostly.

The dumdums made other dumdums and those dumdums made other dumdums too.

And the dumdums named everything they touched.

Some places became “safe” and others “tainted.”

Some people became “risky” and others “shifty.”

The dumdums named boys “strong,” girls “soft”

But the dumdums did not have any names for boys that were really girls

Or girls that were really boys

Or boys and girls that were neither or both.

We needed names for things. All things.

And if dumdums, who were fairer than we could ever be, could not find a name

For boys and girls who were really girls or boys or neither or both,

Then what were we to do with the nameless things?

The dumdums gave us an answer when they gave some old spaces new names

The dumdums called them “camps.”

And we put all the nameless things in unnamed “camps” where they could live their lives, nameless.

And the dumdums made other dumdums and those dumdums made other dumdums too.

And we knew the dumdums were making our lives easier,

because we no longer had to name things.

Then the dumdums named the oceans, “deadly.”

And we pulled our boats from the sea.

They named planes, “danger.”

And we stopped flying.

They named money and cars, “useless.”

So, we put them both away.

The dumdums named the White House, and the army and the bases, “ours,”

and then it was all theirs.

And they named each of us, for the jobs the dumdums knew were fair and right

I am writer.

My wife is cook.

My dog joined cats.

My son is washer.

And my daughter is safe.

I think

because he was nameless,

and her friends might be our only chance

to name the world

different

better

  • - e r r o r — -

W r I t e r I s d o n e

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Broderick Turner

Assistant Professor of Marketing @ The Pamplin College of Business, Virginia Tech